Choose Your Best Friend Like Your Life Depends on Her | A Christian Reflection on Friendship

Choose your best friend like your life depends on her. Because sometimes, it will feel like it does.

People on the internet love to say, "Choose your husband like your life depends on it," usually alongside videos of couples walking through something hard. And I completely agree. I have every intention of doing just that.

I haven't had the opportunity to choose a husband yet. But I have chosen my best friend, and it's a choice I look back on and think, "Nailed that."

I've had a really hard season, capped off with an especially difficult week. I was blindsided by relational conflict I never saw coming and was given no answers to the "why." It left me feeling broken. I questioned whether I was a terrible friend, a terrible person, and whether everyone else in my life secretly felt the same way but just wouldn't tell me.

I called my best friend from the car, crying and feeling completely raw.

She immediately reminded me of the truth of who I am. She reminded me who I am to her, who I am as a friend, as a chosen sister, and as an auntie. She met me in the middle of believing lies and spoke truth about my identity and character.

I spent the day with her and my niece having a girls' day. I left feeling full, loved, and chosen.

So while you're waiting to choose the man you might spend your life with, choose the woman who will stand beside you until he comes. Choose the friend who will answer the phone when you call in pieces. The one who will tell you your value when you can't see it yourself. The one who knows you deeply and loves you anyway.

Because long before I choose a husband, I thank God that I chose her.

This is something we don't talk about enough. Marriage is a gift, but so is friendship. And while the internet and our churches tell us to choose our husbands wisely, I think we should talk just as much about choosing our friends wisely. 

Here’s the hard truth, we’re not promised marriage. There’s no guarantee that we’ll have a husband to share our life, pick up our broken pieces or fill us with truth on a hard day. But community, friendship, that’s something we can all have. 

Just like in the Bible, before Ruth had Boaz, she clung to Naomi through their hardship. So while you wait to choose a husband like your life depends on it, choose your best friend the same way. 

Best friendships don't happen by accident. They are built slowly, through ordinary days, long conversations, shared prayers, showing up when it's inconvenient. Or in our case, endless days of couch rotting in 2020…The friend who held me together this week didn't become my best friend overnight. We built this friendship one ordinary day at a time.

Want to learn more about the value of friendship? It’s week 4 in my Prayer Journal- Whole Hearted, 12 weekdays of prayers to live fully while waiting for something different.